The Urban Refugee

I’m getting a chuckle out of the current imbroglio over making filling out the Canadian census long form voluntary in 2011. A rather large group of people (largely bureaucratic tit-suckers and race hustlers, I suspect) are moaning and groaning about how people won’t provide accurate information if they’re not legally compelled to by the government. As one of those who was told by a pushy census official that I had to answer all the questions from the 1996 long form, I can damn well tell you that making answering compulsory will NOT improve the quality of the data. He’s roughly how I answered:

• Ethnicity: Aboriginal (I’m white, uptight, and outta sight)
• Language: English (I speak both English and French, actually)
• Other languages: Urdu (Well, I bet it sounds like Urdu when I’m drunk)
• Language first learned at home: Pig latin (an honest answer, methinks)
• Place born: Nyarlathotep, Saskatchewan (told her it was a Metis community)
• Education: Bachelor of Arts (I’m a high school dropout who likes graphic novels — same thing AFAIC)

…and so on. Yes, I understand lying on a census questionnaire is legally naughty. I don’t give a crap so either arrest me or piss off. The next time the census rolls around, I truly hope the long form is voluntary for all who are interested, and that I can fill it out in the same manner as I did the previous one. Any chance to bork a government program is something I want in on.

When you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail. When you’re Warren Kinsella, everyone looks like a defendent.

The newer the vehicle, the greater the number of deer that are attracted to it as it drives down the highway.

As a photographer’s proficiency with a camera increases, so does the number of weddings he finds himself invited to.