The Urban Refugee

You can never have too many empty plastic ice cream pails lying around.

Fidelity is for marriages, not photographs.

You’re not truly old until you lose all interest in stomping on the “crunchy ice”.

The probability of the thermocouple failing is inversely proportional to the temperature outside.

As the temperature outside decreases, the volume of dishes sold and needing to be installed increases.

The longer you’re surrounded by oil patch activity, the saner Weibo Ludwig starts to look.

God would not have put all those Big Red Buttons on people’s backs if He did not want me to push them.

Excellent vocabulary. Pleasant disposition. Good hygiene. Pick two.

A watched application never installs.

The demand for a menu item increases as its availability decreases.

(Running out of turkey and bacon? Everyone orders club sandwiches.)